You want to use referrals to grow your business… You see the value of turning your customers into your biggest fans and strongest salespeople. Sounds good on paper, but how do you do it in real life? In this article, I’m going to quickly show you the best time to bring up referrals and a proven system to use.

When and how do you bring up the whole conversation of referrals?

The problem with waiting until you have proven yourself with a customer lies in the human brain. Through evolution, the brain adapted to pay attention to what’s immediate, and to ignore things that are finished.

You have a center in your brain called the reticular activated system (RAS). This system is the attention center of the brain. It also functions to automatically filter out all of the various noises and distractions in life that are not important right now, so that you can focus on areas that are important.

For example, a mother sleeping in a 14th floor apartment above a noisy street can sleep, oblivious to the noise below. Yet when her baby stirs two rooms over, she’s up like a flash and at her child’s side. The reticular activated system is the brain’s system to selectively and automatically focus what you pay attention to.

You can fall asleep watching TV and not pay attention to those sounds but immediately snap awake when your dog starts barking or someone opens the door. Or if you want to find someone in a crowd and they call your cell phone to let you know they have a red hat on, suddenly all the red hats appear. The RAS developed to instinctively choose what you notice.

Some people advocate that the time to bring up referrals is after a product or service has been delivered and the customer is happy with the outcome. However, if you do it this way, your customers RAS will not automatically work with you. Your customer has gotten their result and their mind is on to the next thing - you are automatically forgotten.

Referral System Example

Here’s how to do it:

When you’re talking to your customer for the first time… you can say something like, “Mrs. Jones, I only will take you on as a client if I am absolutely convinced that I can over-deliver exactly what you need.

Our business grows by word of mouth. So, we don’t stop until we achieve success together.

My business uses referrals to spread the word. And to make sure that happens I keep working until you are happy.

When this happens you will probably want to talk about us to your friends, colleagues and associates. This is a good thing. As I mentioned, our business grows by word of mouth, so it is important to us that you are happy enough with our services to pay us for our work. We also want you to be so thrilled that you become one of our biggest allies and fans.

A couple of things about that. First of all, if you refer someone to us, we won’t give you a free toaster or a trip to Mexico. We provide our clients with the best pricing possible, so we haven’t built in awards, prizes or cash back if someone refers us.

I only expect that you will refer a friend if it makes sense that they will benefit as much as you have.

I will commit to acting professionally and with courtesy in all dealings with you… and I will offer that same level of service to your friends.

I only have one request: If we work together, may I periodically check with you to see if you are thrilled yet?”

By planting seeds in this manner (or in your own style), you will increase your effectiveness in gaining referrals. Your customer’s RAS will automatically and most importantly, without their having to remember, respond by bringing to their attention the colleagues that will benefit from working with you.

If you ask in this way, you will notice your referrals increasing. Without their having to work at it, your customer’s RAS will be compelled to find friends that will benefit from working with you.